saw this movie about a girl who knew she was going to die at 34. so she hurried her life, did all she could do (It sure helped she was very rich) but didn't fight enough for her love....anyway, she hurried her life and didn't think about consequences.
I am a little like that. I sometimes live by the rule : I'd rather regret doing it than regret not doing it. It's strange that with age I don't hurry more, I hurry less...like I am accepting my condition somehow. Or maybe I am just in love.
Here's a song I heard yesterday
I am off to the wedding and probably return after midnight so that's why I am hurrying now :P meanwhile doing my make-up, my hair, adjusting my cam and talking to Mr. X =)) I am multitasking.
Just realized the song is very good for the tittle. llloooolll
It did not start out from the song. It strated from something Mr. X said.
Ah U2, I've missed them.
I struggle to find something to write that isn't as hard as led. War and jealousy, love...anyway, any subject you can’t write about when you’re trying to ease your shoulders.
Yeah, it’s impossible.I don’t have anything more than war and lies, I find jealousy stupid but as a disease that hits you sometimes…
OMG!!!!!! damn. 16 fucking minutes late. Mea culpa. Eh...going for it now. I just hate this. These days I was reading and studing and seeing a movie and ignoring my grandma and talking on messenger and happy aquarium on fb in the same time and I didn't forget. I've been on "vacation" since 6 in the afternoon (because I did what I wanted to do for school by then) and I just wasted time and I FORGOT!!! GOD!
Well many things happened today. Excited about my very very very young aunt's wedding (this morning and went and was the official fotographer) and a trip with my highschool colleagues/friends. And I discovered I am very short on cash =)) and I froze to death waiting for Mr. X to pic me up after the wedding (the legal one, not religious one). It was not his fault btw arggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I hate that I forgot !!!
* just realized I can modify the date and I could fool you :D...but I don't. kisses.
I am so sure there are manyyyy posts in the world with this title. It seems so cheezy.
On my way to the university I was thinking about yesterday's post and got the conclusion that what I would really like to know is when did man start to put a price on beauty. You know...like a pot of gold is worth two cows or to get a woman you had to have a pretty feathered crown. ...transforming beauty into a symbol and attaching an owner to it. I mean, except for nature's beauty every kind of beauty has an owner, every diamond, every crown, every painting or work of art, every nice dress. Someone owns them and in some way or another they use those pretty things for power. God! Everything seems to be about power, but I am bored with concepts.
Strange day today. I was waiting for the bus and something kinda sad happened. A highschool professor walked by and I didn't remember what class he taught. I got a bit discouraged. Omg, I am forgetting my teachers!? Which made me remember I get a little insecure of my memories sometimes because the mind reshapes the information and maybe what I remember in a way happened in a totally different way. That's scary. I eventually remembered he was our sports professor.
I said that someone is more beautiful that all the snowflakes that were in front of my eyes. Those snowflakes were shinning like little diamonds because of the light on the street and it was snowing slowly. Because of this implicit comparison between a person's beauty and the beauty in something that wasn't human, someone asked : How can you compare beauty between two different types of things? Someone is right . How can you compare apples with pears? But at the end of the day some people like apples more than pears. So it is possible. My answer at the time was (and is still) that I can judge by what I feel, the pleasure I get from looking at them. I look at the snowflakes and I say they're beautiful . I look at someone and I think someone is beautiful. Both times I want to sit and stare, but only for one my "beauty meter" goes through the roof, and that is just a feeling. I judge with what I feel. Isn't that contradictory?
It's sad that we can't appreciate beauty alone. Critics also study the rules the artist followed, the technique he used, the colors, the artistic period. Their heart is clouded by technicalities. A simple viewer is influenced by price, by the artist's name, by size. You say duh!, everything is predefined. Our minds are not blank, our sight goes through our brain which is already full with opinions, beliefs etc etc so we cannot appreciate the beauty in something without awakening other thoughts in our minds. I wonder if Mona Lisa was even more beautiful if we didn't know what painting was, or Michelangelo or museums or even the word "beauty". What would we feel? How would a cave person appreciate the most beautiful dress, or those snowflakes for that matter if he was from the Amazon?I wonder how far in our evolution did we start to like things only because of beauty (not because of advantages of any kind). Of course we probably didn't have the concept "beauty" yet but that doesn't mean we didn't know it/see it/hear it/feel it/smell it.
Maybe you think this is a pointless questions, but since elementary school when in Romanian we talked about the theories that this world is only an imperfect reflection of the world of ideas I have looked for meaning in everything. The physical universe, Plato describes as a pale imitation of its true form, the metaphysical world where Ideas are eternal, immovable and also separate from the one that thinks them or the object upon which they ponder. Maybe with Ideas I can start to see the absolute truth and implicitly, true beauty.
Unfortunately Plato also says that LOVE(or Eros) is continuous dissatisfaction of the soul...I hate that I am human.
To be in tone with Greece...I miss it. I miss the heat, the buildings, the sea, the wind, the temples everywhere I looked, the roads through the mountains, oh how I miss Delphi and Athens, miss walking on the shore of Thessaloniki...
I am browsing though some pictures...I mean some (lots of) dvd's with pictures from highschool.
One of us made a facebook group and we are posting photos and videos. It's quite fun. I have felt, since highschol ended that we drifted apart a lot , but it's like now, everyone feels the same and misses the other. Missing someone is a strange thing.
Anyway, I almost forgot how much fun we had. I laughed today like I haven't in a while browsing though videos to post on the group. Pride is the word to describe what I mostly feel. I know that all my friends are ok and are growing up nicely, are good people ...and I am proud to have them as my mates.
I am up to my neck in a project I have to do as an exam for school. It has to do with Red Cross (as you might notice my new widget in the left). We are supposed to make a PR campaign and I chose this organization. I am starting to fall for my own campaign thinking more and more seriously of joining. The problem is I would really prefer something only for the summer, so if you know anything leave a message. Anything to help senior citizens and\or children. I have a certificate in piano and English so teaching would be alright. During school I really have time problems.
I almost forgot about the blog, being very concentrated in communicational objectives and tactics of communication and camps and implementing concepts in 14 year olds . uh! That you Mr. X ! although I should call him Mr Present cause the x thing is no working for him :P
The package from Connecticut got here. Yeyyyyyyy! Made someone happy today! It kinda missed my deadline, but it was my fault or the post man's fault (so thanks Austin from Bicio). It got here probably Friday which would have been alright if the post office had annouced me earlier in the day. The post office for picking up packages closes early. I had to pick it up Monday and missed the deadline Saturday 23.01 .
The other deadline is this project which I ignored for 3 days and is due on the 28th.
And my present deadline is finishing this post by 00.00 .
I got another deadline today, from myself. I want to drive to Paris by the time I am 30. I was staring at this photo I have framed from there and I thought to myself I don't feel it so far away...them I saw the European map in my head and started an imaginary line from Bucharest to Paris and...oh boy, thousands of kilometers. I realized that I would absolutely adore to get there on my own. People are welcome to come with me, sure, but I am driving !
Some trips are supposed to be taken. Like the first time you get up and start walking by yourself for two steps, you accomplish something, you learn something, you are at another level . Just at a larger scale is driving to Paris. Hope I'll get there in one piece...how about this summer? :D
I have two things to say: I think prose is safer. It's harder for someone to label you as an incompetent writer while writing in prose (in my mind, at least), but in order for me to do prose I have to have actions and plot which sometimes I lack, not because there isn't any but because I don't see it or I find it uninteresting so I see only emotions, inner thoughts of mine or maybe belonging to someone very close. That kind of "life" I can only translate in rimes and verses. I make them up as I see or think the moment that inspires me...but I am forced to decide between ending it and getting a pen or just let it flow, like a paper boat in the big ocean. So I forgot what I "wrote" , I only remember the emotion or tone. I wanted to post something I made up yesterday, but I realized I had forgotten the words, which made me write this...because I wanted to tell you a lyrical story, simbolic enough to hide the intimacy of the moment, but constructed so that it can be enjoyed. I have to figure out how to remember them :P
While blogging I have noticed other blogs, by coincidence or out of curiosity. They all seem to have a "greater purpose", the appreciated ones I mean. To do list before I am 30, some exciting event that triggered a story, an affair, political, oriented towards a certain public professionally, spiritually etc etc. I wondered today what was the reason for my blog. I can yeap and yeap to people face to face, no need for a blog, I am not a loner. I am so laughing at myself but it's like Bridget Jones' line : I had decided to take control of my life, and start a diary, to tell the truth about Bridget Jones, the whole truth.
I dared myself to write everyday. I am "forced" everyday to take a few moments for myself and think about that I did or what happened that day. The days don't just go by, time is not running so fast and I know I'll have a few moments for myself, for browsing songs I like, pictures I took, discussions I had. I once told someone that the first promises I break are the ones to myself. That has changed.
I was tagged by the cute pink bear today so I must fulfill my task. 3 things that give me a muscle fever and that I enjoy. Oh stop it! Don't be kinky. I don't get muscle fever from that :P. No preferential order, just how I remember.
1. Roller skating. The firs day that I take them out, after a long winter and a loong wet spring I feel some pain , but I like skating a lot.(strangely...ice skating doesn't do the same)
2. Shooting with the big lenses or the old zenit! That baby is to heavy to be carried on one hand, but I constantly shoot only with my right. After a few hours I feel some pain in my arm.
3.Lifting weights....nope , joke but the occasional pilates goes in this category.
No inspiration whatsoever. Sitting in the house has left me blank with problems of general interest. I am not going to describe how slowly the snowflakes fall outside or how grandma is going to make my staying alone so much more appreciated when she's gone or how I have studied 0 ... no sir, I won't tell you anything about it.
I wish for blossoms and for spring I wish for wind under your wing I wish for truth and sight to see I wish your lips were just for me I wish for happy and delight I wish you knew you are my light.
Natalie Portman + Devendra Banhart (ps: they are dating o_O)
Don't try to read the guy's name out loud, you will hurt your tongue. The reason I post this is a video I have found that makes me laugh a lot. The song is not bad, folksy indie thing, quite cute. The video...well it is ...The Imaginarium of Doctor Banhart ;)
Paralized in between two "needs": the "need" to drown the fears and nerves caused by upcoming exams with studying and the "need" to take photographs. I end up doing neither. If I study my mind just sees concepts and places and how pretty the light is somewhere and if I abandon the book I am crushed by guilt . What do you do? And this is not a rhetorical question! It's funny because this is usually when I get things done. I clean what I wanted to clean for half a year,I move whatever I wanted to move since last year, I arrange the whatevers, I make my portfolio, I answer all my mails, I call the friends I should have called...mostly everything that is not studying. I vacuum , I wash my dishes, I keep my clothes neat. At the end of the day, even if I did not do the thing I should be doing (by most standards) I still feel that I have accomplished something. Here's one I managed to slip by in between the emails and the dishes :
I said I'll post the first song I hear on the radio :
Ah the 90's . I was 9 when this came out and I heard it in my early teens for the first time. It was probably the time it hit our country. We really took it slow after communism. I look at this video and it seems primitive. A couple of days ago I had this fugitive thought. What will the future humans discover with their fossil brushes? I mean like Pompey or buildings in Rome, like Sarmizegetusa or some writing on stone. I'll bet it will take them a while to decipher our messenger language when they will fix our petrified computers found under meters of dirt.
(some ice on branches near my window. they defied their weight. thought it was cool)
Maybe you think that we are passed that and everything of value will be stored, conserved and so on. First of all you are living on this side of the "universe", the side with computers and money for food and internet. There are cultures in this world right now who will disappear smothered by us. I only figure that some new way of life or "people" will eventually over-power us in some way and we will abandon our cities, our computers, our writings and other forms of civilization and go live underwater or only with synthetic molecular whatevers. Still, my theory has one week spot. The internet. Being virtual the only way every information on it will be lost is for every possible server thing that generates and accesses it, disappears. Right? I will have to ask Mr. X about this. :x Ah, the night of the human civilization as we know it . To see that,,it would be special. That's my only regret for being mortal really. Not to get to see the distant far far future, our end.
It's been a very long time since it snowed so much in Bucharest. I was just talking to my friends that it feels good somehow. When we were little it seemed that it snowed all winter long. The last 10 years in was once a winter, at most.
Something feels special about this year.
Hey do you know how long it takes for a package to get from Easton, CT to Romania? Arghhhh :(
Pe vremea lui Ceausescu, iese un timbru cu Ceausescu. Se duce Ceausescu, deghizat, la un oficiu postal, sa vada cum se vinde timbrul. - Nu se vinde, spune functionarul. - De ce? - Nu se lipeste. Cere Ceausescu un timbru, scuipa pe lipici, il pune pe un plic si-i arata functionarului: - De ce spui ca nu se lipeste? Uite, se lipeste! - Da, spune functionarul, dar toti scuipa pe partea ailalta.
I can never tell a joke I have heard. Seriously, like this :
I can be funny, I think, you know, with irony or funny comments about something... Being funny is important. Aren't the most popular guys funny? Have you ever heard of a not funny jock? or prom king or something. Imagine the popular guy in high-school and he's totally serious. Like if you say something like this : How do a blonde's brain cells die? Alone. he's like : discrimination is wrong and dieing alone is not funny. Yeah...never gonna happen.
The title is not from the add . I was google-ing the word to see if I spelled it correctly. I only heard it once.
I have a hard exam on the way, my grandma is here for the week, I was very annoying today(sorry Mr X.) and I have no inspiration for the blog. Bollocks. Oh , and I froze my hiney on the way to and back from starbucks and I drove without my glasses. I know I know, should have warned you first so that you'd stay in the house. I felt a little like the guy in this campaign:
I am joking. I cold see very well, but I was still a bit stressed especially with such precious cargo. I like driving alone when I am at the wheel. And it's not a funny matter. A while back I was in a very bad accident. I would be dead if wasn't wearing my seat belt. And here's a cool add.
I have a comment on this (if you are underage please do not look at it//flattering myself, that I have readers I do not know. nvm// really! your parents might ban me. it's very very very very sad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56mBiSJhOHY . My comment is that no one will look at it thus makes it inefficient and useless. It makes me want to cry and I am very sure if the terrorists use it as torture to get information out of someone , that person will say anything just to not see this add again. I struggled though it out of professional curiosity, but I hope to never see it or remember it again.
Stereotype. I love it when self proclaimed cultivated people start talking about stereotypes, exclusively categorizing them "for simple people". Stereotype= a simplified and standardized conception or image invested with special meaning and held in common by members of a group, like "women are shoppers", "men like football and hate shopping", the pitzipoanca, the geek, the cowboy etc etc. Even if the definition uses the term simplified that does not mean it is for simple people. Most of our knowledge is based on a stereotype. That is how the mind functions. The way a stereotype is formed is something like this: we gather some information about a thing A and store it and apply it to the similar things to thing A, thing A1, A2, A3....we don't rationalize much when we gather the information about thing A, as in "put a label on it" (we use other people's knowledge, mass media, advice or one single experience we had with that thing A), and we don't rationalize much when we think thing A1 is just like thing A. Of course we shouldn't judge people and base our actions on stereotypes, but stereotypes do not only refer to people and all that I am saying is the stereotype is more complicated by it's fantastic usage for our life than we can imagine. I am saying that when the self proclaimed intellectuals consider themselves above the stereotype they are in fact one and they do not have a clue about what it means. If we were to start from zero about every single person, object, phenomenon, action, thought we would go crazy and our heads would explode. We use the stereotypes because, like the Chinese, we have found our "thought vocabulary" to be to complicated to be learned and used functionally and with some profit. We had to simplify our rationalizations of the world around us and thus we invented stereotypes. The fact that when we think of leaves and wood when we hear the word tree is also a stereotype. It's a shortened way from the word tree which have a million species and a million components to some simple features: leaves, wood, green, simple things we process in a blink of an instant (whatever Mr X., the instant exists in our perceptions even if not in physics).
And for God's sake...stereotype that women shop. I have spent 6 hours in a mall after a man today, and I got so fantastically bored out of my mind(and I like shopping). In fact most of the men I know are crazy about shopping and no...they are not gay. Yes yes...another stereotype. Hey, most of them are right. That's why it's so fun when you find a so called exception...I found 3.
Another exception. I don't like black eyed pees or whatever their name is at all. Usually their music is dull, commercial and simple(bit, bum, ah, olala, uhuu, bit, over). But this song I like, most of it. It keeps singing in my head :
