I feel strange and far away and tired. Like I've run this distance that I feel from all of you.
Everything seems dull. That is a dangerous thing. The only time I take risks is when I get bored. I just realized that. Risk can be anything. Maybe driving fast at night or smoking on the window or just talking to someone I shouldn't talk to or abandoning school stuff and going out or watching a movie.
I saw Coco before Chanel today and noticed something that quite frankly bothered me. Remembering the biographical movie with Edith Piaf I saw that all these fantastic women had this big love which died really young. What is up with that? It's like every incredible love story ends with someone dieing, but I am most appalled by this portrayal that the strong women loves one man and she lives most of her life without him. There's Becoming Jane too, The Duchess, freaking Titanic etc etc. I am very annoyed.
I have two conclusions which are not connected. Either every writer thinks that the great feminine character wouldn't be/become great with a man at her side (thus he has to die, marry for money, leave unwillingly and so on) which although makes sense is not set in stone, or it's just a mandatory ingredient in love stories (hopefully only fictional ones). What still bothers me is that it's true Boy Capel died, it's true that Marcel Cedan died and the affairs were true. What I can only hope is that the writers invented the "love of her life" part...which leaves me where? Denying love. I don't like that either.
I once told someone "my book will have a happy ending, regardless of what happens" in real life. I get a little bit frustrated when I fall in love with a book and its ending is so damaging to my feelings. You can't help but hope 'till the last page that your loved character will live a happy life...or at least, that's me. I care about what I read and I feel things even for fictional people. They exist, even if they are only ideas in my mind. Unfortunately they don't belong to me, they belong to the writer so I can't change what happens to them. The frustration comes from my impossibility of changing the story to an ending to my likening. It makes me feel like I wouldn't be able to change the ending to my story.
Oh yeah, the title is about the fact that sometimes I wish I was an anonymous blogger. I had read Meditations in an Emergency (Misterg's blog).
Everything seems dull. That is a dangerous thing. The only time I take risks is when I get bored. I just realized that. Risk can be anything. Maybe driving fast at night or smoking on the window or just talking to someone I shouldn't talk to or abandoning school stuff and going out or watching a movie.
I saw Coco before Chanel today and noticed something that quite frankly bothered me. Remembering the biographical movie with Edith Piaf I saw that all these fantastic women had this big love which died really young. What is up with that? It's like every incredible love story ends with someone dieing, but I am most appalled by this portrayal that the strong women loves one man and she lives most of her life without him. There's Becoming Jane too, The Duchess, freaking Titanic etc etc. I am very annoyed.
I have two conclusions which are not connected. Either every writer thinks that the great feminine character wouldn't be/become great with a man at her side (thus he has to die, marry for money, leave unwillingly and so on) which although makes sense is not set in stone, or it's just a mandatory ingredient in love stories (hopefully only fictional ones). What still bothers me is that it's true Boy Capel died, it's true that Marcel Cedan died and the affairs were true. What I can only hope is that the writers invented the "love of her life" part...which leaves me where? Denying love. I don't like that either.
I once told someone "my book will have a happy ending, regardless of what happens" in real life. I get a little bit frustrated when I fall in love with a book and its ending is so damaging to my feelings. You can't help but hope 'till the last page that your loved character will live a happy life...or at least, that's me. I care about what I read and I feel things even for fictional people. They exist, even if they are only ideas in my mind. Unfortunately they don't belong to me, they belong to the writer so I can't change what happens to them. The frustration comes from my impossibility of changing the story to an ending to my likening. It makes me feel like I wouldn't be able to change the ending to my story.
Oh yeah, the title is about the fact that sometimes I wish I was an anonymous blogger. I had read Meditations in an Emergency (Misterg's blog).
Ps: I am downloading all the Disney movies.Ha! those have happy ends.
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