The last mohicans

5 am. party yesterday continued 'till today
uhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Ms CerealKiller and I said we were going to stay 'till the metro started in the morning, no matter what, and hell yeah, we danced until 5 (well...me at least :P).

Could you help me out with this? >>> Sustine Licenta Inei

I hate these TV's in the metro...or maybe hate is not the word. It's some kind of rejection.
For example, two days ago, I was waiting on the platform and every 8-10 meters or so there are some flat screens. Around and under them, 2-3 meters were empty, like there was toxic waste on that part of the platform, because people were sitting further away so as to stare at the screens. It was....like a sociological experiment. It also keeps people standing still. They sit and watch, making that a way of life.
Dunno...since I saw them the first time I just felt like "eugh, not here tooooo".

The Youth of Kamiya Etsuko

searching about it on the internet I came across something that sounded like this:
...it lacks any artificial help from a soundtrack to reveal the sadness...

What socked me about this movies, except it's gentleness which I consider a result of the culture that has produced the movie, was the moment Kamiya was crying in the kitchen. It was one of those moments when your mouth is smiling, like really really smiling. I was thinking that it's funny. The way she cried seemed like a child that was too nice and naive. That's the way the women behaved through the whole movie. So it was funny really.
But my eyes were filling up with water and it was one of those moments when you fought not to cry. I saw myself made out of 3 people. One was smiling and saying "dude, this is funny", one was crying and feeling pain like crazy, and the last, the most detached one, was analysing what was happening to the other two.
She was crying because the man she, as we understand, loved, was going to war, as a kamikaze. Instead of going after him on the road and maybe stealing one moment of truthful acknowledged love she goes in the kitchen and cries. I think it was not only the loss. It was the loss and the fact that she couldn't do anything to change the situation. She couldn't even go after him. It would only mean she had more to lose. Feeling powerless against war is only a metaphor for being powerless against our own rules or pride or society.

Where I want to live

Page from the pink notebook

Yesterday...no , today, a little after 00 am

Human worth. That's what Mammoth is about. The same (most expensive) pen (in the world, made out of mammoth ivory) is worth than 30$ or less in another context... And the end is shocking...the western family seems left untouched while the others fall apart and build themselves again.
I was laughing today in the subway. I saw how ridiculous human clothes are. It's amazing, because it's not about covering our nakedness. It's about pushing up, down, tightening, shoving and stretching stuff. We stick our bodies in these moulds. I got started with this because of the disappointment with Sex&The City and because I was so obsessed with clothes for a few..many weeks.
But i also believe that nothing is meaningless. A bad movie, something stupid you buy, some conversation you have about chiskens or anything. Nothing is meaningless. You might just have a good idea while discussing flavours of gum.

Under pressure

Since Ms NewBornStarinHerEyes (some time ago) told me she read the blog I kept thinking about a thought she shared with me. It was an opinion of hers that stuck with me. She is very right, but thinking I was the only one who knew it made it easier. Since then, more or less, I feel some sort of pressure, even if it's only to not let her down. Before I started the post today I was thinking exactly about what she said and I was trying to find a topic. And then the obvious topic came to mind. There is almost noting worse for me than the combination between choice and pressure, and since most of our choices are done under some sort of pressure you can deduct a certain fact. Anyway, (so to not restrict to the word choice, but every reaction is a sort of choice) reacting under pressure is something we should study about ourselves. I guess there are people who react more responsible under pressure or people who react worse, panic and stuff...but the issues is what is pressure? Aren't we under pressure for everything? Expectations, conventions, "advice". To belong to a certain group you must manifest the same values or/and interests as the other members. All these aspect must also be seen in parts of our behaviour like what we chose to wear and what movies to see. Soo whether we admit or notice this, we feel pressure from our social groups.
The issue of time is also very important. If you have a second to react is totally different than if you have a week. I do believe in first choices, in that our minds and bodies have an instinct we should sometimes trust. As is showed a few lines earlier, if we think to much we might fall under the jurisdiction of "what is expected of us" and not what we want or are. I am not saying, ok, let's go wild, let's do everything we want etc etc. But as Goffman names it, we would always know the difference between our "presentation self" and our true identity.

Not mine

As I was looking at the photo that I chose for today’s blog (which is not mine), I got to thinking about this thing that most of us have(pun intended), to own stuff, people, money, ...qualities. Yes, we want other people's qualities, we want to own them and claim our merit for them. Anyway, rights on a image, rights on property. You name it. How many countries aren't there that allow men to practically own women? Don't worry, it's not about that. It's about owning in all aspects. I mean the harder you keep on to what you own, the more difficult life is and the more we all suffer in a way. If we would all share (everything, generally speaking) there would be no use of owning like we do now. Again I feel I have to specify something, that I am not talking about communism, but I feel as thought we are at the other end of the stick. We hold on to our stuff like mad, even non-physical things like our phrases (like something funny we said, "it's mine! you can't use it" or " I said it first") . In a world where most of the things have already been said and most of the stuff have already been owned and let's face it, except a Picasso, mostly everything is mass produced...what does owning mean? Memories came to mind, like those are definitely ours...but are they? How many times, when you did something romantic, didn't you copy it from a book or a movie? How many times when you said something fun you didn't get inspired by Seinfeld or whatever? Unless you are thrown out of a plane (preferably with a parachute) over a virgin part of the Amazon, it is unlikely that you are seeing something that someone else hasn't seen before. Oh, I am so pessimistic. I am ripping that shinny little layer of "no way! I am so unique!". It's not all bad. The unique things are the ones that can't be owned...that's what I am trying to say. Those things are probably indescribable and so small you forget them or so amazing that you'd want to share them but can't.
I honestly was going to write something totally different. I mean toooootaly.

Tomorrow then...about my almost buss fine and my workshop with USA TODAY editor. I think I am forgetting something. Maybe it will come back to me....And yes, the mys are intentional :P

An isn’t it funny. I did this without thinking. The photo said private property on the sign and the title of the file is “not mine” =))

Ohh I remembered…Irony. All on tomorrow’s next episode of…Please think of something unoriginal.