Aripa , simplu

To say officially "Goodbye!....Hello!"

2011-06-27T18:41:00.002+03:00

Moved here :

http://aripaceimilipseste.wordpress.com/

The Eve before the rest of...

2010-07-05T22:15:00.002+03:00

dunno yet actually.

repetitii

Random

2010-07-04T22:59:00.003+03:00

My photography is suffering terribly. Except my work and a few lomos which I have not developed or have been developed badly (and will be sent back to the drawing board) I am totally dry. I hate these kind of days. It's clear I'm not happy or totally between any kind of state of mind when I am not shooting.

Live like you mean it

2010-07-03T22:50:00.006+03:00

" 'Live like there is no tomorrow!' What a joke! That phrase exists only because we never live like that, like there is no tomorrow. We never live like we mean it. We make priority lists, we memorize our duties and, ultimately, we end up living like we imagine we should, like we end up, like others mean us to..." and she closed the blue notebook with a bang. What if she is only selfish? Yeah, like when she bought this notebook. She spent a lot of money on it, with it's painted covers, so beautiful. She feels like one of those painters who sleep with their models saying 'in order to create beauty I must be surrounded by it' blurring the line between I paint for art-I paint to get laid. "Eugh", she thinks. But she better not fall into these discussions. She has a challenge to win and it implies no sleep and lots of dancing.
" 'Boooy one day you'll be a...' man", she whispers with the song. His beer bottle shivers on the sound box and the lights dance on the surface of the liquid inside it, just like her nerves. He couldn't be further away than right there, in front of her, because it's like the first time she sees him, now that she must prepare to say goodbye.
" 'Smile like you mean it' ...like live you f****** mean it". And her breath stopped...and then life was meant to be lived...one kiss at a time.
On the night she should have lived to get to tomorrow, she found herself ignoring that next day. Still, the problem with stealing a moment in time is exactly that. It's only a moment.
The sun is rising. She won the challenge and stayed up until the morning, but she is a thief, she is selfish, she is still singing.

While browsing for the song this caught my eye. Duuuuuude!

The last mohicans

2010-07-01T23:39:00.006+03:00

5 am. party yesterday continued 'till today
uhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Ms CerealKiller and I said we were going to stay 'till the metro started in the morning, no matter what, and hell yeah, we danced until 5 (well...me at least :P).

Could you help me out with this? >>> Sustine Licenta Inei

I hate these TV's in the metro...or maybe hate is not the word. It's some kind of rejection.
For example, two days ago, I was waiting on the platform and every 8-10 meters or so there are some flat screens. Around and under them, 2-3 meters were empty, like there was toxic waste on that part of the platform, because people were sitting further away so as to stare at the screens. It was....like a sociological experiment. It also keeps people standing still. They sit and watch, making that a way of life.
Dunno...since I saw them the first time I just felt like "eugh, not here tooooo".

The Youth of Kamiya Etsuko

2010-06-29T23:12:00.006+03:00

searching about it on the internet I came across something that sounded like this:
...it lacks any artificial help from a soundtrack to reveal the sadness...

What socked me about this movies, except it's gentleness which I consider a result of the culture that has produced the movie, was the moment Kamiya was crying in the kitchen. It was one of those moments when your mouth is smiling, like really really smiling. I was thinking that it's funny. The way she cried seemed like a child that was too nice and naive. That's the way the women behaved through the whole movie. So it was funny really.
But my eyes were filling up with water and it was one of those moments when you fought not to cry. I saw myself made out of 3 people. One was smiling and saying "dude, this is funny", one was crying and feeling pain like crazy, and the last, the most detached one, was analysing what was happening to the other two.
She was crying because the man she, as we understand, loved, was going to war, as a kamikaze. Instead of going after him on the road and maybe stealing one moment of truthful acknowledged love she goes in the kitchen and cries. I think it was not only the loss. It was the loss and the fact that she couldn't do anything to change the situation. She couldn't even go after him. It would only mean she had more to lose. Feeling powerless against war is only a metaphor for being powerless against our own rules or pride or society.

Dendrobium

2010-06-28T23:11:00.005+03:00

old Fed photo of my desktop

woooo wooo wooouooooo

Unfold

2010-06-27T22:04:00.004+03:00

When I feel a million years of age
I rest my thoughts on that white page
That seems to say more than a lot,
That seems to have more than I got,
The story meant to not be told,
The truth I have yet to unfold.

Where I want to live

2010-06-26T15:14:00.004+03:00

Skirts

2010-06-19T22:15:00.003+03:00

And then it was ...

Gorgeous :D

cause women wear pants

Page from the pink notebook

2010-06-11T23:17:00.004+03:00

Yesterday...no , today, a little after 00 am

Human worth. That's what Mammoth is about. The same (most expensive) pen (in the world, made out of mammoth ivory) is worth than 30$ or less in another context... And the end is shocking...the western family seems left untouched while the others fall apart and build themselves again.
I was laughing today in the subway. I saw how ridiculous human clothes are. It's amazing, because it's not about covering our nakedness. It's about pushing up, down, tightening, shoving and stretching stuff. We stick our bodies in these moulds. I got started with this because of the disappointment with Sex&The City and because I was so obsessed with clothes for a few..many weeks.
But i also believe that nothing is meaningless. A bad movie, something stupid you buy, some conversation you have about chiskens or anything. Nothing is meaningless. You might just have a good idea while discussing flavours of gum.

Know

2010-06-10T22:19:00.001+03:00

I have really crawled up the stairs in my building today. chill and sleep...After all, tomorrow is another day.

I belong

2010-06-08T23:09:00.008+03:00

At some point you want to be possessed and owned like a crayon, to be kept all little in a pocket and carried around, in the dark and hidden, but loved as the hand strokes you when no one is paying attention. It's warm and the sounds seem distant and large in that pocket.

The play I was talking about yesterday.

I want to be kept in his pocket

Tomorrow I will hopefully finish a new Lomo film during us girls' evening out :D Uhuu !

Eye-candy

2010-06-07T23:46:00.008+03:00

O_O

I've spent most of today browsing the internet...yes, I am ashamed of it but eh. Through one of those infinite chains of links (looking for that, aww that's interesting, click that, then that then...that) I came across this "old" series. I said to myself I have to have them all in one place and stare at them when I want to. The first 3-4 are the top, the rest are random.
I reaaaaaaaly disagree with the Aladdin portrayal! First of all because it always seemed to me that Aladdin and the Princess were young and that is reflected in their actions. Those "old" guys are definitely not good for this. Such a big NONO!
Since David is not naked he is not fun :| and terribly unconvincing. I am surprised Annie released that photo. The same with the Arthur photo. I don't even understand who that is.

The photos which actually are based on surprising choices are nice. Peter Pan and Alice in Wonderland are wonderful.

And an indie song to seal the deal.
Tomorrow, hopefully will be about photos from a play I am very excited to see.

21.55

2010-06-06T21:55:00.005+03:00

...
Et toi dans mon lit
Doux présent du présent
Fraîcheur de la nuit
Chaleur de ma vie.

pour Monsieur X.

(dans les mots du Jacques Prévert)

About the one you never knew

2010-06-05T01:29:00.003+03:00

Has anyone asked who took that photo?

Face-lift

2010-06-03T23:21:00.009+03:00

:D

New face for the blog. It's a template orginaly from thumblr I think. I like it, dark yet colorful.

About that...found some images in the basket of goodies. Old one so...here'a face lift for it, in the sense that is shinnes once more on display:

Benjamino Terraneo

* next morning>I noticed the song was not working, went to the source and found the whole youtube mute...weiiirrddd

Abandoned

2010-06-01T22:42:00.004+03:00

L-a apucat de picior, l-a apucat bine acum de picioare și îl trage afară. Cheile zdrăngăne de Turnul Eiffel suspendat cu vârful în jos. Zdrang….zdrang. O pasare îi zâmbește transparent.

Asculta mai multe audio Muzica

Dance

2010-05-31T23:40:00.004+03:00

Parking

2010-05-30T00:00:00.001+03:00

yep. those shots are not taken in movement. the car was just sitting like that =))

eh. I loved it =))

to look to find

2010-05-29T23:29:00.006+03:00

I find things exactly when I'm not looking
I hit the obstacles exactly when I'm not expecting them

:( Wow. So many negative posts...

On a more fashionny note, I am talking about this :

I am droooling like mad, happy, making calculations, "fuck the money", "eh screw the prices", "damn euros"...and then the bloody/damn site does not accept my card (which is totally valid and I have made other payments with it!!) ...and then depression. Uf!

The first two phrases are 90% true for me, in every aspect. I do love surprises (good ones) so...if I am to keep getting the good ones, must I also accept all these bad ones? Simple answer "yes", human answer "why???:(((((((((((" and more or less hopeful answer "maybe someday a surprise will come without the bad side".

What if the theory is only valid if you believe in it? I was thinking about this because for some people the "compensation theory" does not apply. There you have Donald Thrump and then you have a beggar in Africa. I bet the surprises they get in life are pretty different. It's not even about surprises, it's about the attitude you have towards life. The surprise is a good way of analysing it. Anyway, what if we truly truly believe everything is going to be the best. How can it turn wrong?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Too tired to move

2010-05-28T23:45:00.002+03:00

Mobile post . I an partially in a coma due to tirednes. I have a very old photo on my desk with two of my friends and me. All I see in that image is how much more easier my life was. Of. On another note, I was a bad girl today, so I am posting a public apology to mr X. :p

O definiţie a rahatului

2010-05-26T16:52:00.008+03:00

Iaca Iaca , limba română. E mai "plastic" să spun ce am de spus în această limbă.

Aşadar, ipoteza este : Facultatea de Biologie este un rahat.
premisa1. Tot ce se înscrie în definiţia rahatului este rahat.
premisa 2. Facultatea de Biologie se înscrie în definiţia rahatului. (sau dacă vreţi "Toate Facultatea de Biologie Bucureşti este ceva ce se înscrie în definiţia rahatului)
concluzie. Facultatea de Biologie este rahat.
prin argument de tip
MaP
SaM
........
SaP

după figura 1 şi mai e şi Barbara care e un argument tare so there you go!!!

Am preferat varianta scurtă cu formularea "definiţia rahatului" dar la ce mă refer este asta :
În rahat intri uşor şi scapi greu.

Pentru amuzamentul personal vor preciza faptul că nu mă refer la ceva gen Poli, o facultatea grea prin materii şi examene. Mă refer aici la birocraţie (duh! the chick who writes this blog is from Romania).
Tot încerc de ceva ani să îmi iau dosarul înapoi de la Facultatea de Ecologie (din cadrul celei de Biologie ce ţine de Universitate). Am acolo marfă preţioasă, mirifica diplomă de bac şi fişa matricolă...în splendidul original pentru că eu, ultima toantă am intrat la fără taxă şi în naivitatea mea am zis, ia hai să fac două facultăţi. M-am lămurit după două luni (acum 3 ani) şi de atunci tot încerc să le explic că vreau să plec de la facultatea lor.
Încercările mele au fost oprite de:
O scârbă mai mare decât găurile din pereţi sau din şosetele paznicei improvizate din faţa facultăţii de la secretarele superbe care o iau ca o ofensă personală alegerea mea să PLEC. Se şi miră.
Infinitele hârtii! De fiecare dată când merg trebuie să alerg în 4-5 corpuri diferite(nu nu,nu în aceaşi curte) să iau acte şi mereu mă lovesc de o uşă închisă. Fie s-a terminat programul(că ia ceva ore să tot alergi), fie pur şi simplu nu e nimeni. Nu numai că trebuie să obţin aceste hârtii, dar se tot adaugă când mai încerc. În momentul de faţă am obţinut un act ce mă ajuta doar într-o parte pentru a-mi da alt act O_o . A trebuit chiar să declar pierdute carnetul şi legitimaţia (de formă) pentru că tanti secretară care mi-a luat carnetul anul trecut nu mai e şi teoretic ar trebui să le am ca să lichidez înscrierea. Deci dacă vedeţi un anuţ cu pierdut carnet bla bla ecologie să ştiţi că e doar ca să arăt CHITANŢA la o nepricepută.
Dap, bani. Parcă văd că mă pun să plătesc cine ştie ce. Cred că atunci fac urât şi oricum nu văd aştia nici un sfaţ de la mine, poate doar o scandal dacă nu îmi dau actele.

Tocmai am terminat un proiect la MP prin care puneam în funcţiune un centru pentru studenţii străini ce printre altele avea marea grijă de a-i ajuta pe ăia micii cu actele ce le trebuie în sistemul ăsta mizerabil. Cred că trebuia să facem unul românesc.
S-a inventat internetul şi bazele de date. De ce trebuie să alerg la 10 facultăţi să adun ştampile pe o singură foaie pe care o depun în altă parte?
Cu un search şi click eu aflu cnp-uri şi ei nu pot să aibă o bază care să zică : nu am cameră de cămin, nu am datorii şi nu am furat cărţi de la bibliotecă?

Nu am reuşit nici măcar să găsesc un site ca lumea pe care să le las o amintire drăguţă. Din întâmplare am dat pe nişte forumuri şi nu sunt singura cu urări pozitive pentru această facultate. E mai mare ruşinea.

La FCRP, deşi depppaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarte de perfecţiune, măh, sunt toate într-un loc.

Adventures in Lomo nr. 6

2010-05-25T23:59:00.004+03:00

note to self: must experiment more with movement !! proof for Ms CerealKIller who doubted my fireman!!!

pretty! and surprising. didn't expect Mr X to show up in the corner.

bad shadows! not a very good raction to darker places.

noticed this also with the flash which gets tired after one "explosion". The next two shots after a first flash are darker, too dark.

Under pressure

2010-05-24T22:22:00.005+03:00

Since Ms NewBornStarinHerEyes (some time ago) told me she read the blog I kept thinking about a thought she shared with me. It was an opinion of hers that stuck with me. She is very right, but thinking I was the only one who knew it made it easier. Since then, more or less, I feel some sort of pressure, even if it's only to not let her down. Before I started the post today I was thinking exactly about what she said and I was trying to find a topic. And then the obvious topic came to mind. There is almost noting worse for me than the combination between choice and pressure, and since most of our choices are done under some sort of pressure you can deduct a certain fact. Anyway, (so to not restrict to the word choice, but every reaction is a sort of choice) reacting under pressure is something we should study about ourselves. I guess there are people who react more responsible under pressure or people who react worse, panic and stuff...but the issues is what is pressure? Aren't we under pressure for everything? Expectations, conventions, "advice". To belong to a certain group you must manifest the same values or/and interests as the other members. All these aspect must also be seen in parts of our behaviour like what we chose to wear and what movies to see. Soo whether we admit or notice this, we feel pressure from our social groups.
The issue of time is also very important. If you have a second to react is totally different than if you have a week. I do believe in first choices, in that our minds and bodies have an instinct we should sometimes trust. As is showed a few lines earlier, if we think to much we might fall under the jurisdiction of "what is expected of us" and not what we want or are. I am not saying, ok, let's go wild, let's do everything we want etc etc. But as Goffman names it, we would always know the difference between our "presentation self" and our true identity.

Sleepover

2010-05-23T23:28:00.006+03:00

wow! so many titles containing "sleep"

Anyway, I wanted to write a little about the sleepover from yesterday.
Me and Ms ChocolateCracker went to Ms MagicCrayon's house to hang out and stuff. Somehow we ended up talking from 10pm to 5am about...everything and nothing. From what we like to eat to strange Japanese sex stuff, from what we did in highschoool to what we are doing these days.
I guess time shows you what friends really are. That episode from Seinfeld about "the show about nothing" just came into mind.We did not discuss world peace or genetic breakthroughs (although we fell into the discussion of time travel and consequences etc etc), but we had the best time and we were passionate about every topic.
It doesn't take much to have fun, really.
Can't wait to see how the photos turned out.

Take the time and go out, sleep over, talk to your friends. They make the world go round.

Deja

2010-05-21T23:10:00.003+03:00

deja= already

I am so tired I cam barely be (bee, pun intended) coherent.

The Fireman and the Wasps

2010-05-20T00:00:00.006+03:00

.

He came to save me from them. They were "growing" under my window.

.

Ed

2010-05-19T21:42:00.007+03:00

As in Ed , Edd n Eddy...or you might also know it as Educational System...
Its stupidity, absurdity and humour is only shadowed by the tragic story of all those young minds butchered by this IDIOT.

It's not just second hand information like this > link that inflates my temper, but also first hand experiences like today where I stayed 6 hours over my schedule to be able to present my project (mandatory for me to pass that subject). My two examples also show two aspects:
1. The f****ing idiots that run our Ed are in fact unprepared, unskilled and most of all uninterested . They send their children in Switzerland and/or private institutions or they just don't care cause they have enough money to secure their future. Unskilled and unprepared because they are products of another very ill Ed, an older one, but at least I have the impressions that the ones who made the older Ed at least tried. Since they watch porn during the conventions and meetings, since they fall asleep, since they are to busy ruining what's left of the economy and of the constitution, the poor Ed is merely a bunch of old, barely standing buildings with a fraction of good teachers, a minimum of good students and a fucking lot of idiots. That is related to aspect 2.
2. Since when do people who are on purpose retarded get to go to university? The delay was caused by the on purpose retarded people who came in the wrong day. They have no shame, no decency and no logic.How damn hard it is to read : People with seminar on Monday come on Monday during their usual seminar hours, people with seminar on Wednesday come on Wednesday during their usual seminar hours. Many students of all ages are so uninterested in they education they purposely try to ruin it for everyone. Haven't you ever had that discussion with a badly chosen friend : "Why the fuck should we go to the class? come on! let's go out/ let's have a beer.", "Uh you looser, why do you do your homework?".And since when are we trying to make the damn exams easier???!!!! More specialised when getting to university, yes but when I hear them complain about oh how hard is the national examination, oh how hard is the exam for university !!! Fucking this is what it fucking happens! Idioooots!!!!

Gusfrabaaa

Ok.

a song I bet they never heard of :

Drimtim

2010-05-18T23:47:00.003+03:00

Ms Hair -Project manager
Ms CerealKiller
Ms Freckles
Ms LLQ (Long Live the Queen)
Ms ...oh wait, that's me

picture by Ms Freckles

sorry for not posting more. just too tired ...

Ice, anyone?

2010-05-17T23:59:00.003+03:00

Frozen water or..... 4-Methylaminorex

none of the photos are edited or staged.

Adam şi Eva

2010-05-16T23:22:00.009+03:00

Cum totul se rezuma la asta, cuplul primordial.

In primul rand scriu in limba ...şi nu pot scrie în româneşte fără diacritice. Măcar atât a făcut facultatea din mine. Am ales propria-mi limbă pentru că altfel nu pot spune ce vreau să spun. Ca să zic aşa, ăsta e un subiect apropriat de sufletul meu.
Acum luni bune am citit o carte, "Adam şi Eva" de Rebreanu. Foarte frumoasă, dar nu pot spune că m-a dat pe spate talentul lui (îmi e superior în toate dar zic aşa, ca un cititor umil). Abia acum însă m-a ajuns ideea (ce nu pot spune că îi aparţine) până în fundul creerului. Printre povestirile ce descriu călătoria celor două suflete pereche prin timp până la împreunarea lor nu este şi povestea biblică despre Adam şi Eva, dar ce trebuie să înţelegem, noi cititorii, din titlu plus parcugerea cărţii, este conceptul de cuplu primordial. Splendid. Nu numai noi suntem rezultatul unui cuplu, dar până şi ideea de cuplu este fructul aceleiaşi împreunări dintâi. Poate trebuie să explic. S-a ajuns cumva la acest arhetip, "cumva" deoarece nu a fost timp înainte să fie măsurat de cineva, cuplul primordial, ce a generat acest model pe care se constituie viaţa din acea primă clipă de unitate între două entităţi diferite. Splendid.
Nu doresc să intru în discuţia cu există un singur om pentru fiecare sau că aceleaşi suflete se caută vieţi în şir etc. pentru că...parcă până la urmă astea sunt detalii comparativ cu imensitatea semnificaţiilor simplei idei de unitate între două fiinţe diferite. Să nu vă prind cu argumente biologige ca nu scriu despre sex.(oau!it may be the first time I write it on my blog phahahaha)
De când eram prea mică să înţeleg ce e aia sărut m-au fascinat poveştile de dragoste, poate uneori într-un mod ciudat. Nu m-au pasionat personajele sau aventurile pentru spectaculozitate, ci mă pasiona miza, intriga. Ce îi desparte? Ce îi uneşte? Cum au reuşit să fie împreună? Ca şi cum încercam să învăţ toate trucurile, toate posibilele obstacole, toate soluţiile.
A , şi ce îmi mai plăcea în poveşti erau creaturile magice: zâne, sirene, vrăjitori, inorogi, vampiri, vărcolaci, îngeri, toată gama, buni sau răi. Uuuuu dragoooni. Daaa!! Elfi :D etc. etc.(în gama de creaturi magice aş îndrâzni să adaug şi super eroii, deşi sunt mai apropriaţi de forma umană majoritatea) Am vrut să fiu din fiecare. Cred că prima a fost sirenă, apoi inorog, apoi zână, apoi un lung şir de superputeri....(apoi am descoperit că am superputeri.shhh)....şi apoi, în povestea oricărui supererou sau om obişnuit îmi place să găsesc pe Adam şi Eva.

want music?or photos? close your eyes and remember the best kiss you ever had.

Sleepy

2010-05-15T23:56:00.002+03:00

Aaaaaan I just did something reeeaaallly stupid

2010-05-14T22:42:00.002+03:00

I erased a previous google account ...connected to the picasa that stores blogger images, and now the photos won't show on my blog...and...yeah....

From now on it's ok cause I have the new account , but the ones that were on the previous one are puf away...I'd like to recover them if possible...

I have tried to sign in to the account but duh it's gone and the recovery is only for forgotten passwords and co.

Image 4

2010-05-14T22:22:00.005+03:00

* for Facebook readers, this version always lacks the song so please check out the original post

When the sky became blue

2010-05-13T23:20:00.002+03:00

http://www.realitatea.net/de-ce-cerul-este-albastru-acum-milioane-de-ani--era-portocaliu_713509.html

* for Facebook readers, this version always lacks the song so please check out the original post

I never hang up

Soft voice

2010-05-12T23:01:00.003+03:00

I mentioned yesterday that I almost got a buss fine. The problem was that I had to get to the place where they sell tickets, but it's far so I took the buss :P . And on the bus there was the guy who checks people for tickets. He was like : young lady, ticket?. me: (surprised he came out to ask me. then my face took the innocent hurt puppy look) oh please, I am using the buss just for a station (which was true, and got back to the wet puppy eyes). Him: how old are you? Me: Me? I am 16(which was a lie). Him: Congratulations. Many more. It's ok.
=)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Specifications: I was wearing a short little funny skirt (nothing tight and indecent) and I had a biiig backpack cause I was planning on reading some stuff. So.. I dunno. Maybe that was why he thought I was what I said I was =))) Of course Mr X was.....about it and said that if I was with him he would have noticed I was not that young or something like that. :|

when I was 16

Not mine

2010-05-11T19:45:00.005+03:00

As I was looking at the photo that I chose for today’s blog (which is not mine), I got to thinking about this thing that most of us have(pun intended), to own stuff, people, money, ...qualities. Yes, we want other people's qualities, we want to own them and claim our merit for them. Anyway, rights on a image, rights on property. You name it. How many countries aren't there that allow men to practically own women? Don't worry, it's not about that. It's about owning in all aspects. I mean the harder you keep on to what you own, the more difficult life is and the more we all suffer in a way. If we would all share (everything, generally speaking) there would be no use of owning like we do now. Again I feel I have to specify something, that I am not talking about communism, but I feel as thought we are at the other end of the stick. We hold on to our stuff like mad, even non-physical things like our phrases (like something funny we said, "it's mine! you can't use it" or " I said it first") . In a world where most of the things have already been said and most of the stuff have already been owned and let's face it, except a Picasso, mostly everything is mass produced...what does owning mean? Memories came to mind, like those are definitely ours...but are they? How many times, when you did something romantic, didn't you copy it from a book or a movie? How many times when you said something fun you didn't get inspired by Seinfeld or whatever? Unless you are thrown out of a plane (preferably with a parachute) over a virgin part of the Amazon, it is unlikely that you are seeing something that someone else hasn't seen before. Oh, I am so pessimistic. I am ripping that shinny little layer of "no way! I am so unique!". It's not all bad. The unique things are the ones that can't be owned...that's what I am trying to say. Those things are probably indescribable and so small you forget them or so amazing that you'd want to share them but can't.
I honestly was going to write something totally different. I mean toooootaly.

Tomorrow then...about my almost buss fine and my workshop with USA TODAY editor. I think I am forgetting something. Maybe it will come back to me....And yes, the mys are intentional :P

An isn’t it funny. I did this without thinking. The photo said private property on the sign and the title of the file is “not mine” =))

Ohh I remembered…Irony. All on tomorrow’s next episode of…Please think of something unoriginal.

Writer's block

2010-05-10T21:44:00.003+03:00

I am having one...so what I do is think about it. When you can't write...is it because you don't have anything to write or it's because you think you don't have anything good to write?Or both. Or because you just don't want to share, there's a little autism in you. Or all of it? Grrrrrr.

My cat is surely not out of funny faces :

Searching...
I don't know any funny, happy happy songs :|

be glad I didn't post Memory =))

Anticipation

2010-05-09T22:50:00.002+03:00

I was born too late

2010-05-08T23:58:00.001+03:00

Atlas

2010-05-07T18:22:00.009+03:00

I have always held the greatest admiration for Atlas, because he has the strengh to hold the whole world on his shoulders. His burden always moved me. But today I found out my image of Atlas is false. He was not punished to hold the earth, but to hold the sky, to separate the primordial couple Gaia (earth) and Uranus(sky). I don't feel the romantic guilt anymore, the guilt of weighing even a single pound more of the burden he is forced to cope with.
Of course, it was even more than that. His (early) image came to mind today as I am fighting to resolve all my projects that seem to never end and get heavier and heavier by the day. I felt disappointed.
And that is why I didn't write yesterday. I was writing for a project, team project and I felt the pressure to finish and finish. I just couldn't stop writing. People were depending on me.

I told Ms NewBornStarinHerEyes(ah, she is so beautiful) yesterday that my blog is therapy. That idea actually came to mind as I was saying it. I realized that, except for Mr X sometimes, hardly anyone says anything about my blog so I don't get to really conceptualize what is means or what it does. And I don't mind at all, both the fact that people don't speak about it in physical life and the fact that I don't theorize it too much. It's just a challenge everyday to write. The rest of my feelings toward it change everyday.

Cig Harvey

Goals

2010-05-05T22:53:00.003+03:00

.
a small list on my desk. it does remind me and makes me look forward. do that. it helps. o!h and please tell me where I can buy one of those blackboards that I can write with markers on :P

want photos?

Sail away with me

2010-05-04T23:33:00.000+03:00

Home

2010-05-03T23:07:00.002+03:00

and tired.

Stamp

2010-05-02T09:37:00.001+03:00

Stamp on my hand:Luna Amara Live.

rudolf

2010-04-30T18:48:00.003+03:00

Is me. I have level 3 burns, while mr X ia shivering in my arms. :)) the first of may is a strange time.

Vamaaaaaaaaaaaa

2010-04-29T23:57:00.003+03:00

Ms CerealKiller

a photo before I go.

Words with no name

2010-04-28T23:44:00.005+03:00

wishing everything would write itself
dreaming of a far away seaside

the peacock on my door stopped singing

To see the point

2010-04-27T22:01:00.008+03:00

I see, on average, a feature film a day, the two-hour kind. It's not a brag. I said this to illustrate I've seen a lot of movies.
After some movies I fail to see the point, what do they want to say with this film? what should it teach me about myself?, I do, and I spend days thinking about it. Like "A serious man" or " Whatever Works"(and books like "Mrs Dalloway"). These two come to mind. But then I remember them and I get it. I've named the two also because they try to say the same thing in a way, the thing I want to say in this entry.
What do we want? and What gives us meaning? are two different things. We may want a collection of cars, but does that define us? If we lose them , do we loose ourselves?
It's like this, there are people who have a career, money, health but want a person to love, people who have loved ones, health and a career with no money, they want money, people who have money, loved ones, health, but no aknowledgements, like a bad actor who makes a lot of money cause he's pretty, and so on and so on. Then there are some who "have it all"...and these guys kill themselves. :)) Bad joke, I know, but it happens. These guys want meaning. What is meaning? They search for a greater purpose, for some sort of superior goal. They find religion, they find charity, they find making babies, they find alcohol and/or they find the bullet, or worse: marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce etc. :P Afterlife? That is no guarantee and well...everyone will have an afterlife so why is it different from the one here? This is a serious question. If we continue to exist, except for the part that (for the worse I would say) it will be an eternity of status-quo (Heaven-good, pleasure, peace.Hell- pain, suffering, torment), why is it so special?
Most of what I say above is false, because I can't believe it's that simple. With 3-4 categories intertwined I managed to index what happens to people who actually search for that world of ideas I was talking quite some time back. The thing is I've felt like that all my life. So if I am reasonably ok in this life, career, health, love ...what does it mean ? Ha, I just realized I am a character from an Eminescu short story. Once I say those words....I am G.... I will fall. :))

Swans and Fed

2010-04-26T23:51:00.006+03:00

The Fed had a biiiig hole in the pellicle which stood against the film and the lens. It had a curtain made out of cloth and some sort of black glue thing...only the glue is opaque :| and it was missing in the shape of the spot you see on the image.
I opened the cam, took out the lens and almost fainted when I saw how much light got through there. Somehow the photos came out...well, like this, but I am still amazed. Lovely swans in cismigiu.
Oh yes, the pellicle is fixed...by me. I am such a geeeeeenious. I won't brag more than this until I actually use it again :P and see it work.

"oais"-copywrite Mr X. minute 2.20. lovely melody. wakes my heart up.
* if he will see. song suggestion from Mr PianoHands

Keep coming back

2010-04-25T23:55:00.004+03:00

Everyday I think I am done with this country...and she proves me wrong.I do stay because I have a reason and I am grateful. I must be luckier than those who could actually leave.It means they didn't have enough reasons to stay.

Need the 1st of may

2010-04-24T20:22:00.005+03:00

in between outings :)) probably I won't be home by 12

indeed, this is not exactly my style of music, but I love this song. Maybe it's the Belgy French or because of the mood of the song...anyway, alors on dance...alors on dance

The dream

2010-04-23T22:12:00.007+03:00

She was getting out of the kitchen with her hands full. Reheated dinner to be eaten in front of the computer. She used her head to push on the switch to turn the light off. And then she remembered.
It was new year, in an apartment, her friends, him, secrets and lies. People were running around, happy, they appeared to be flying. She felt her world was made of stone and silence. The moment of congratulations and kissing started. She wished she was invisible, but she complied and pretended to be alive. They ended up face to face when the others were done with them. She paused, she knew she should have made this decision before because now it is noticeable and he will understand. But he woke up and woke her up and said with a low calm voice that sounded like of a father's, ”it's ok.come on.”.They held hands or kissed on the cheek. Something like a normal thing between semi-close friends. She almost forgot that is what they are supposed to be. Then he had to leave. He was moving around gathering his things, to her despair. She could feel her blood leaving her body out of protest. The brain was alone, the heart was going on strike.
As always, something strange happened. He was going to the door, his hands were occupied by the luggage. She was moving to the table that was in his way. Their bodies met in the middle. She felt they were moving so slow, as though time was taking a walk with it's grandmother. When he passed near her he stopped and his shoulder was above her chest, his head lowered, their cheeks touching just a little. And their skins craved the affection so they stole a moment of caressing their faces with their cheeks and robbed a second's perfume to get them through...God knows, maybe the rest of their lives.

second 33 , that is how they touched

My Fed

2010-04-22T16:45:00.004+03:00

This little old guy is from '49 O_O

What can I say about him? It's the first camera for whom I had to find and read an instruction manual. Speaking of manual, everything is manual.

Adventures in Lomo nr. 5

2010-04-21T23:49:00.010+03:00

ehem !

was counting on the cool umbrella effect but blur???!!!
it is so strange. these are the first films that came out blurry....with iso 800 :|

Buuuurneeeddddd ! :(((

You are sooo tempted to over-expose!!! :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( I am stupid!
And , note to self and others, use the short exposure often! People move!

Mo**** F****** !!
People scan like shit ! Doesn't anyone have a machine that does not over sharp, over contrast, over kill the colours !!! They look better on the film! And less burned!!!!

Had a veeeeeeeeery bad day! (Except the first 4 hours :)) )

Buuut good stuff I noticed :
1. Cool colour effect when something is really close to the lens

The photos I show you here are not edited AT ALL. Raw...well....butchered by the fuck*** scanner. Ups, I censured the wrong part.

Image 3

2010-04-20T23:26:00.007+03:00

I am going to find a photo I like in my pc , then write something that...dunno, comes from the image. Should it be mine or someone else's?
Today...mine. I think it will be easier...I hope :))

I was fascinated by this photo since I made it and saw it on my display. So strange....of course it was flipped. I find that now it shows it's true form. I see a woman, an ant and a spider...And then instantly I said to myself that a woman is both and ant and a spider. Gender issues, male gaze bla bla. Concepts, empty cold concepts analyzed by men or feminists. A woman is an ant because she has to be kind, she has to be hard working and she has to be prudent and women tend to think about the future, not like the grasshopper which sings all summer. Ah and the old ways ...a woman should be proper. A woman is a spider because she makes a web. With her feminine hands she has to weave a net of charm for the ones around, to get a position she wants, to catch a man that she likes and sometimes just out of her nature...so that in the morning the dew shines like little diamonds on her knitted creation.
When I described this woman ant-spider I was thinking of someone feminine, which should never be confused with superficiality or frailness, vulnerability.

Research Department

2010-04-19T21:32:00.007+03:00

It begins with a song. It always begins with a song. He takes her hand, maybe it's the first time their hands touch. And they start to dance. The music gets lost, the people disappear, the ground is inexistent as they dance on a tune they feel through the tips of their intertwined fingers.
"The way children love...how strange", she says out loud. It's been years and she considers herself above the long lost love cliché. She can imagine her colleague from the cubicle next to hers laughing cause she's thinking out loud again. The cruellest thing about time is cynicism and maybe that's why life decides to teach her a lesson, although she should have been prepared. Why today, of all days, does she decide to find that song she forgot ? Bits and pieces of lyrics, a few notes, "I'll recognize it when I hear it. Will I? Sure I will...I think". Her thoughts are interrupted by a huge pile of documents thrown on her desk.
The trip to the research department is long and challenging. She must pass the hallways without someone making her drop the papers, she must find a good corner in the elevator as to not get groped, she must push the light switch with her head and hold the door with her right foot before it hits her on the back. I ask you, who would have thought that in that grey looking, toner smelling room someone was visiting his friend?
Through the sound of flying papers and documents reaching the linoleum, with the visual of moving white sheets slowly revealing his face she can hear that song."I do remember it."

If you are wodering what the song is I am sure you know it, your song.

About gods

2010-04-18T22:34:00.010+03:00

it seems flat and blurry , full view if you want to see it

I was walking on the longest street in the world which became short when I got to the end when I started to hear something except the annoying bark or an annoying dog. I was hearing as if there was a gladiator match in the clouds. I was a football match somewhere. Thousands of voices cheering the same name or singing the same tune. Oau! I heard it on Tv before, of course, but like this, never. The sound was bouncing off the clouds back to the ground all the way to the longest street were little old me was walking by. The sound was amazing and I finally got the idea of veneration. I am currently watching Spartacus (yes, you've guessed it, hard as it was, a TV-show about gladiators =)) ) and so far I really didn't understand what the men where talking about , pride, honour in the arena, being cheered for, because that mass was a bunch of mindless animals...still their voices acting as one seems to mean something.
I made the connections because I've seen a series of movies about gods: there is Hercules (the Disney cartoon, Herc wants to be a god), there's Spartacus where the gladiators feel like gods when winning in the arena, there is Clash of the Titans, where gods exist because we adore them....a lot of ways of saying that they are not better...but are simply adored and that makes them gods. Then again, if there are superior beings their power and role are beyond our comprehension and what we think is "feeling like a god" is just as mortal as our condition. The funny thing is....why did man choose to create something that is beyond his comprehension and power? Is it logical? Yeah, yeah the story that he explained the phenomenons he didn't control through gods...then why didn't he think everything is some superior power. I mean today...why isn't shaorma a gift from the gods...but escaping cancer is a miracle? At some point the idea came out of nowhere and as the first. Why did that man create the superior being, create something beyond his control. Maybe it's easier to think that there is something out there "bigger" than us or maybe it really is and that first man did not invent, but simply felt the existence of the gods.

I appreciate the song, not the meaning of the lyrics

What we need to be happy

2010-04-17T22:47:00.007+03:00

WHO THE HELL KNOWS???

Ice-tea, succes, coffee, movies, sunlight, dreams, music, sarcasm, winning, zuma, reading, messenger, sex, traveling, sports, art, job, writing, money, fighting, changing your mind, strippers, fashion, food, stalking, showering, holding hands, building, papier mache, buying stuff, sitting in a bar, dancing, wearing lipstick, shoes, social networks, Tv-shows, having kids, diary, snow, truth, working, remembering, your country, French, complaining, dressing up, waking up....

If I smile

2010-04-16T23:27:00.004+03:00

Photo not mine.
http://www.peterrentz.com/webarchive/impossibleimage/

Taste

2010-04-15T20:27:00.004+03:00

Details

2010-04-14T21:13:00.012+03:00

Conflict is innate in a lucky person.

What can I say? I got hooked on googleing celebrities today for the fun of it because I was seeing it as the only enjoying enough activity with less intellectual characteristics to relieve me of my headache since Mr X. was unavailable at the time :P. Unfortunately I was completely "disappointed". I stumbled upon a set of amazing photos, found them to be from Details Magazine, searched for it, found it online and started reading the 6 page cover stories of famous men. Not only the 6 pages of reading were feeding my pain, but also the fact that there were no stupid and/or short phrases and the descriptions, although maybe slightly romanticized and seemed to be written by women when the authors were really men, were delightful. I could not resist reading the one attached to the photos I was so mesmerized by: Robert Patinson...hmm,yeah, I knew I didn't know how to spell his name, Robert Pattinson. As I am a movie crazed person I mostly saw anything that's playing in the cinema, including his latest, Remember me, and since he is not so different in this movie from his Twilight role(except the age...he's got less than a 100 years) I wanted to see if he is as constant in his own words as in the ones chosen by screenplay writers. He seems more or less like his characters, but with added honesty and intelligence and I found him to be wonderfully dangerous. One of those people who can create or destroy, depending on the day. Well...what actually fascinated me and made me read other 5 articles (with other actors, of course) was the way they were written. The authors stopped on some particular quotes and mostly took me through their own impressions...making me think they are like Gods who choose what to make out of reality since they must be completely subjective when writing their articles which contain only small fragments of facts and quotes.
You can imagine how impressed I was since I am rambling on about this magazine for a while now.
I am pretty sure I have a fever, my head feels like it will split open and I completely ignored my faculty paper and I will hate myself in the morning...yet I feel wonderful having my senses stimulated. I may be just an illusion of the writing and my troubled pain sensors, but I was glad to see that people do have depth and brain..even if they play a golden eyed vampire =)) duuude! or a young wizard with a very very cute...wand.
I am always interested in knowing what makes people tic or how they think. As far as my absent star goes...I will delight myself with a photo.

Image 2

2010-04-13T22:50:00.009+03:00

I have beautiful times on my right hand now...after such a long while of cheating it, ignoring it, hating it. It's never perfect, but it's never wrong, it's always truthful. Time can't lie. It can't be longer or shorter, it can't go another way than it does on the axe from past to future.
I have many quarrels with different things. I am angry on memory, I am upset with happiness and I always hate that we are flesh and bones, heavy, dieing, limited by our shell.
It's been a long while since I imagined two seashells making love, back when the balance forgot my birth sign and failed to feel her left shoulder heavy with love. You see, my quarrel with memory, my quarrel with happiness and my quarrel with our flesh and bones...whom remember and speak and need to be remembered and need to be spoken to.

Image 1

2010-04-12T20:39:00.005+03:00

Hi,
Imagine you're the image, not in the image, not the paper or pixels, the image, the thing that gets projected in your eyes and stirs information in your brain, that gets read from light signals, that gets interpreted based on all the information you already have, on the context etc etc etc . Doesn't it seem you're very heavy all of the sudden?
And in the same time you're like air, changing shape and colors and temperature with every connection that you make, with every little light that goes in your head.

Rain

2010-04-10T22:56:00.000+03:00

Today it was a rainy city, but the air was fresh and awakening.

this city

2010-04-09T22:31:00.000+03:00

This city is lovely with it's narrow but lit streets.

Go

2010-04-08T23:53:00.002+03:00

Sandwiches, t-shirts, cam and go!

Wind

2010-04-07T20:20:00.012+03:00

There are many ideas about how life goes.
you have destiny, our lives are predetermined,
fate (which I understand as different from destiny), our life has a goal it has to be fulfilled (but we can choose the journey),
you have the old fashion God-surveillance and God-decisions which are not predefined, but obey some sort of law and we are still guided by a greater force
you have the chaos theory, everything is random
you have the "you are the power" theory, your choices lead to a chain of events and if you could go back in time and change a little choice everything would be different the second time around
....maybe there are lots more, I can' think of them at the moment, but there is also my favourite which doesn't really have a theory, it's more like how I see things.
Wind. We are entities that float on some sort of energy, not really a wind of air, more like an electrical current. There are things that attract us and things that repel us, we can sometimes fight it and sometimes we have to go as the wind pushes us, we can make a difference or we can just follow the current, depending on our personal structure. Of course, I believe in a power beyond our understanding today, partially because it gives me some comfort and partially because it makes life all so much more romantic and because this wind I imagine has some laws, some point which again, still remains to be deciphered. I would never admit that my life is predefined, but I don't agree with chaos or randomness. There must be some law of attraction between things.
Enough gibberish for today :)

photo by Ms StarryNight

The secret in their eyes

2010-04-06T22:36:00.004+03:00

El Secreto de sus Ojos
I just saw the movie and before the criticism and skeptisism kicks in I want to indulge myself with some wows and I almost cried and yey, a good ending and love love love...love.

You might have noticed

2010-04-04T21:14:00.001+03:00

You might have noticed that I am not writing from home or even a pc, thus no photo or song...but here is a suggestion: la vie en rose sang by armstrong. You might notice life in pink.

Every resurrection is a coming of age

2010-04-03T22:15:00.001+03:00

I think you are getting older when you start indexing things from your past. Example, i was nameing the must have objects of my childhood to my mom,like fashion,the trend changed with the season:laser,plastic gun with plastic amunition,water gun,rollers...and years were flashing in front of my eyes. And i was thinking, death and coming back to life is a coming of age, measured in soul years.

One of the

2010-04-02T23:21:00.005+03:00

...yearly trips to my grandparents' house. Coming soon.

I almost feel I am back in highschool. I've been seeing a lot of my friends these days and we are planning some outings...and well, Ms HeadintheClounds has not changed. The same energetic, positive and always late :)) person. I waited 3 quarters of an hour for her today. Nothing new. If I didn't know her I would have got upset, but I know she always means well, but somehow the universe makes her late.

After the rain

2010-04-01T23:58:00.000+03:00

Getting involved

2010-03-31T23:22:00.006+03:00

Sometimes I have felt the urge to speak about social/political matters from my country and I have drowned it. I guess my way of getting involved is trying to make people think and nothing else. When I find myself in the middle of a discussion about politics or our social issues I am never a partisan to one side or another. Firstly , because I know I do not know everything and far less than many because I have no interest for the time being, secondly because I know I have a narrow view as an individual. As an example, Mr X liked a certain candidate at some time and was more than keen on him winning. But Mrs Fanny, whom is one of the most important people for me, hated that candidate. The both of then were bombarding me with opinions, so that I really didn't know what to think since I respected them both and valued their thoughts. So what I did was annoy them =))...with questions and arguments. The argument I got from one I put up against the ones from the other. Of course, no one won, but I got to the point where I understood they both have true and false arguments and their choice was dictated mostly by their social indicators (from age to money, social group, upbringing etc etc). Of course, you may think I am completely condescending and snob and why the hell am I not influenced by those indicators. I am, but I can recognize them and thus I can set them aside and try to get to...yeeees, you guessed it, logics and truth, my two favourite lovers. :D I hope that what I managed to do at that time was make them think form a different view. That's all about politics. If I ever were to start getting involved at another level in society I certainly wouldn't start with politics, because I find it less than a sckeleton in our country. I find that politicians have the most narrow views I have ever heard, read, saw ever and that just scares me. The ONG's, the charities, the independent projects...those are the places where you can actually do things. Well..that's my opinion.

Yevgeny Khaldei

O_O holly ...

hihi, the song is ironic because that guy is Stalin

Lipstick

2010-03-30T22:12:00.011+03:00

When you have no inspiration
And the hour's late
You just give'em a quotation
To avoid the hate
:P

"At first she didn't want to, because she had her lipstick on and all, but I was being seductive as hell and she didn't have any alternative"- Salinger, "The Catcher in the Rye"

Assisted by Ms. CerealKiller <3

Just a thought

2010-03-29T22:09:00.004+03:00

Between Truth and Beauty, Beauty will win in fans. All creatures like Beauty...yet so many have no value for Truth.
It might seem we are comparing apples to pears...then again, they are both fruit from trees, sweet or less, to be eaten.

I've heard bit of a song I like a lot and remembered these songs. And in the photo...that's the dark side of the moon.

The "Bad" Words

2010-03-28T23:23:00.006+03:00

Swearing.
If to swear would cost money we would all be penniless.
God, I love to swear sometimes. :)) It makes me feel like a grown-up...which is funny cause grown-ups don't like to swear near the kids so why do we think swearing is grown-up-ish if they don't swear. It's other kids that swear...and from them I learned, really. So...Bloody Hell! I feel 30!

=))

cosmin bumbut

My quitar player

2010-03-27T22:09:00.006+02:00

.

Peter Turnley

The car and the girl

2010-03-26T23:25:00.007+02:00

Smashed in a million pieces. They both have the same side of their face bruised and bleeding. ...and time goes on... She hates her new car. But not the car, she hates herself in the new car, the new car is lovely and nice, but they don't go together. The new car is heavier and with a smaller view of the world. The lady-bug, the car, the one with the scars always knew and always protected.
Attachment is more dangerous than anything, attachment to living or dead, attachment to real or dream, attachment to future or past.

a photo from before anything happened

Before

2010-03-25T23:24:00.004+02:00

...Tu sçais que les rayons de lumière réfléchis des différents corps, font tableau, et peignent ces corps sur toutes les surfaces polies, sur la rétine de l’oeil, par exemple, sur l’eau, sur les glaces. Les esprits élémentaires ont cherché à fixer ces images passagères; ils ont composé une matière très-subtile, très-visqueuse et très-promte à se dessècher et à se durcir, au moyen de laquelle un tableau est fait en un clin d’oeil. Ils enduisent de cette matière une pièce de toile, et la présentent aux objects qu’ils veulent peindre. La premiere effet de la toile, est celui du miroir; on y voit tous les corps voisins et éloignés, dont la lumière peut apporter l’image. Mais, ce qu’une glace ne sçauroit faire, la toile, au moyen de son enduit visqueux, retient les simulacres. Le miroir vous rend fidélement les objets, mais n’en garde aucun; nos toiles ne rendent pas moins fidélement, et les gardent tous. Cette impression des images est l’affaire du premier instant où la toile les reçoit: on l’ôte fur le champ, on la place dans un endroit obscure; une heure apré, l’enduit est desséché, et vous aves un tableau d’autant plus précieux, qu’aucun art ne peut en imiter la vérité, et que le temps ne peut en aucune maniére l’endommager.

Giphantie, Tiphaigne de la Roche, 1760

The moment immortalized by the first photograph was in summer 1827, the author/inventor was Joseph Nicephore Niépce, 67 years after de la Roche's novel was published.
Translation:
“You know, that rays of light reflected from different bodies form pictures, paint the image reflected on all polished surfaces, for example, on the retina of the eye, on water, and on glass. The spirits have sought to fix these fleeting images; they have made a subtle matter by means of which a picture is formed in the twinkling of an eye. They coat a piece of canvas with this matter, and place it in front of the object to be taken. The first effect of this cloth is similar to that of a mirror, but by means of its viscous nature the prepared canvas, as is not the case with the mirror, retains a fac-simile of the image. The mirror represents images faithfully, but retains none; our canvas reflects them no less faithfully, but retains them all. This impression of the image is instantaneous. The canvas is then removed and deposited in a dark place. An hour later the impression is dry, and you have a picture the more precious in that no art can imitate its truthfulness.”

It's funny he thought of photography before it was possible.

first photo ever

Love saves us all

2010-03-24T21:29:00.009+02:00

At the beginning (and all through since then ) I've tried to be as general as possible or lyrical when I couldn't be general thus being general by leaving you to interpret how you want. But I find it harder and harder to extend that experience to the world's. We all live in the personal.

From what I recall, I've analyzed little ideas I have about love or relationships, but I never said: "Thank God!" for it. Well...here you go. I would be an empty bucket without it. And I am not talking only about romantic love. It only just hit me today that I love my friends. I really do. I mean I took it as a guarantee that I love my family, my friends, my cat, things that seem normal, but you don't think about it. I realized today, as I was parting with a friend that I miss her when I don't see her and the fact that we will soon graduate and be harder to see each other actually hurts me. When you're younger most relationships are like a given. You see your parents which arrange to see other relatives, you see your friends at school or spare time (most times meeting is easy or spontaneous). Then the environment changes, but your friends do not. Then you move somewhere without your parents and you have to set appointments with your own mom. I find that hard and new. I have to call, arrange, switch and juggle with stuff to see everyone I want to see: highschool friends, parents, relatives. Love gives me continuity. If you didn't love someone why would you continue to see that person? I stay connected to people I truly love and have a connection with. Sometimes I love a person, but the connection is broken or never existed both ways so I just leave it behind....like if I were a bus. Some people get of at some stations, but some are the ones who stick further down the road. I have no answer about who is the driver, since I am the bus I cannot be the driver. Maybe my ideal self I carry around with me...or even more than that I think it's the person I was a second ago, no, a second ago, yes that this second :D. The person I am the next second lives the life the me now made. We practically all decide our future, but not our present, speaking of course in terms of small small small pieces of time. I have it when people speak about the present as a day or week or even year. That is so stupid. They just got used to constancy. If I were to take physics the instant doesn't even exist so there would be no present at all. :)) Anyway I heard a very long time ago a theory about how lifeless things have memory. As in anything, I believe the example I read was a rock and that things that happen around it, to it, "tattoo" stuff on it's memory. I do think it's probably non-sense and I must have dreamed it or something, but in some way maybe it's possible.Everything is a change of a state: changes in temperature, shape, collisions. Every type of phenomenon is nothing else but a change and that should affect everything that it touches. When we move we move the air around, we emanate heat, we give electricity and maybe that rock next to your feet alters itself because of those changes and maybe it will remember. Maybe everything is a little hard drive and in the same time everything is information. I mean you can write on anything You can write in air with smoke or spray or stuff, on walls, on rocks, on ice, on skin, on cheesecake, on plastic, on metals, on hair, on sand, on snow, you name it. Imagine all the information you get from a kiss.I can't help but think that. All that exchange of temperature, pressure, chemicals, electrons. Like woau! My cheek just feels so much more intelligent now. ;))

the first thing I noticed in the room. the colors are tattooed in my head.

All about Eve

2010-03-23T19:51:00.003+02:00

I've noticed that I mosty post old songs. I can't explain why.

Love this song.

Few things seem as creepy as someone wanting your life and out to get it. It's not the enormous envy and lies that give me the hebegebees, the worst part is that you can be left without it, displaced and forced to watch someone else almost in your body, but fake.

The phantom limb

2010-03-22T23:25:00.008+02:00

open door, afraid of dark, 23.23, have about 5 minutes for research, browsing, google, enter, reading, oh wait, he licked on my glasses, nevermind, powering though, got it.

the mood

the words

I think the phanom limb sensation can be experienced in the heart and I am not referring to a missing ventricle. I miss or suffer over the parts that I've lost, sometimes feeling crippled, sometimes forgetting they're not there, sometimes thinking they still exist.

I "love" the treatment I am reading right now :
drugs, an electrical stimulator, vibration therapy, acupuncture, hypnosis, biofeedback thinking that the pain can sometimes be helped by keeping busy and focusing attention on something else, preoperative pain management, artificial visual feedback like the mirror box and the new immersive virtual reality.

Yup. They would work on missing heart parts.

the image

Dusty fingers

2010-03-21T22:20:00.005+02:00

She sneazes. He looks away from the huge computer screens, smiles a bit but leaves her alone and returns to his business....

Dust from books makes my hands grey and my nose sneeze, but it's like cocaine for my mind.

I saw "An education" . Don't really know if I like it or not, but I guess it's as contemporay as possible really.

A little boy with a new toy

2010-03-20T23:42:00.005+02:00

...that is humanity

I see the two of them in a club. He orders coffee, she orders lemonade.
The action that takes most of their time is looking into their phone screens.

I see a person on the subway. The person sits down and around that person all the men are playing pool on their phone, all the women text or talk on the phone.

The best is when a bus or subway just leaves and the ones unlucky enough to miss it, after the moment of gosh, darn it, they pick a comfortable spot and take out their peaces of technology and start pushing buttons or touching screens.

This consumerism is greater than I ever imagined.

Shield

2010-03-19T21:45:00.004+02:00

Sometimes I am not generous enough to look at people. I choose random lifeless things to look at when going to the subway, on the subway, on the street, at school, on the subway again, on the street going home. It's exhausting to look at humans. In any case, I'd rather have my third eye between us.

Adventures in Lomo nr 4

2010-03-18T22:58:00.002+02:00

The multiple-exposure
in the day

Amaiziiingg

Asculta mai multe audio Muzica

Adventures in Lomo nr 3

2010-03-17T23:46:00.000+02:00

The multiple-exposure
with flash

Love it.

Asculta mai multe audio Muzica

<3

Adventures in Lomo nr. 2

2010-03-16T21:45:00.007+02:00

The colors

Truthful.

The actual world seems less real in colors. Yesterday, a girl was wearing shoes that looked like this . :)) The very same color !

so far away from myself I don't hear the wind whisper or the silence singing or the dreams drowning in the cold sun or touching trembling or the writing wincing on his skin and I don't see the lenses love the light and blinded by the flash of a moment I lack significance in single drop of water wondering around the universe

Adventures in Lomo nr.1

2010-03-15T19:17:00.003+02:00

The flash

It seems small yet angry sometimes.

Notice the burned kitty, but then the missing arm and then..well.....sometimes I forget to turn it on :D

The cam is small and really light. Some think it's a toy so there's no harm, some think it's cool thus they like the attention.
Except for my first cam I choose them all based on intuition. I just felt that that cam is for me right then. Ah, my first cam... I am going to find Sisu right now. Bye.

some tralala song

2010-03-14T21:14:00.006+02:00

I stopped on the verse : How do you turn what was savage tame? Love it.

I like the metaphor in "Up in the air" (movie, you should see it): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ha2_W3EYws 0 (bare through that girl's talking and you see the idea with the backpack). He is right. Yet we do otherwise. I take great offense in being called a shark, I beg your pardon! :p

I can't even grasp the size of this concept, love. I wrote about half a page here and then I deleted it because it was a false problem. How beautifully Mencken says it : Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Yes, it sounds lovely, until you realize what he is saying is love is not true, it's imagination. I feel as if I am being attacked on all sides. In discussions, from books, I see more and more that what we desire and believe are just bits and peaces we collect from around us. If I ask this : Who were the first people to be in love, what could you tell me? It's impossible to know. It's impossible to prove. We see love only as a manifestation and not as the essence. And we learn it , again, from manifestations. I even hate the idea that we learn how to love and not just feel it. But it's hard to argue with Ms HI when she says that our idea of love is taken from what we see, because I have no proof to show that it's real. It's like trying to prove people have souls. Of course, you need a soul to be truly in love...
I know how life works, I know what pragmatism is and I agree with it. Yet, I can't help, but believe there is something more to me that flesh and bones, and there is more to a couple than chemicals reacting in the brain.
The bad thing is even these ideas can be just things that happened to stick to me, that fit that little model in my head that was formed as I evolved. How much do we think for ourselves really? What opinion is ours , since we judge things based on "ancient" values and information we gathered up starting form the time we were crawling around the house, back then when we didn't really know how to filter information. I am actually scared of what I am saying. I find it troubling that no one starts from zero. We are born in a world with opinions on anything already spoken. We find them and we choose one basically, no matter what you say. It's great we have a choice....but I would like to be the creator of my life and not the society I was born in which offers me different layouts, like freaking hi5

Study Study Study...and coffee

2010-03-13T23:29:00.002+02:00

thank you for the link

Work is piling up as usual

When you're grey, there's a way

2010-03-12T23:29:00.004+02:00

I have one roll of film. Let's see what the little pink box produces.

So...Here I am. Life in Lomo. New adventures.
First I scared my colleague, Mr Hair. The pink shinny little thing was to much for him...especially with her big pink eye. I photographed him. His hair will be even crispier with this little girl's apperture.
Froze my ass of today and lost a button from my favourite coat. If anyone sees a black fancy button with 4 holes around Piata Romana, Bucharest, please tell me. But I also finished my first film with Lola(=the cam. all my cams have names). I photographed Mr X a lot.

Curious to see myself on a 170* something lens =))

It's Marchuary, uhuuuuuu!

2010-03-11T21:22:00.002+02:00

I love the avatars my friends have on messenger.

It's March, but the snow is half a meter.

We all set aside our boots and furry jackets, we got out our sports shoes and delicate footwear...and then it snowed.....for 3 days. =))

The funny things about the avatar pictures is that they are all from the seaside =)) I see my friends in their bathing suits, getting fried under the sun and then I see outside the window how the white snow is pilling up.

Which brings me to my next problem. Storing digital photos. A couple of months ago when my computer died I thought I had lost all the information I had on it. I managed to save it, but I cried for a day. The thing is all my photos from that year were there. I could have lost them all. And this is my problem, the lack of actual materiality of the photos. I have glossy-papered images with my mom as a kid. They remain. The digital ones seem so easy to loose, forget about or ignore. My big problem now is that my (new) computer is already full so I have to debark some of them. DVDs? External Hard? Grrrrrr It is so frustrating!!! And these dvds are not safe enough for me, they age which means they might not work, they don't leave a charming vignette effect or a little yellow allure of times-passed.

Why we are human

2010-03-10T23:16:00.006+02:00

Because we use wood knives to open a letter.

Why we need the internet

2010-03-09T22:47:00.004+02:00

as putea sa bat covoare

The internet is just lovely. I love it. I now officially need my "alter ego" list (see right) to keep track of all the sites I have accounts on. Isn't it lovely?
Yes, the Thumblr is new. I made it to follow a friend, Fluffy Cute Pink Bear, but I just couldn't let the page empty and sad so ...I had to pick a layout, a photo etc and I will probably post in it cause the photos look nice there. When? I don't know. That's the beauty of it. If we spend half the time of doing things that are new media-ish doing something more....hmm, and the word "meaningful" comes to mind.
It's stupid to say that "omg you waste your time on sites". First, it's away of recreation, second, it's not a complete waste of time. I communicate to people (I indeed know cause I don't have strangers as amigos on any of these things). I can't call them up all day and tell them my cat was in the washing machine . It's stupid. But I can facebook about it and they will smile when they get home and drink juice, watch a tv show and surf on their laptop.
There is a very academic discussion about new media and our desire for immediacy (google it, but it basically means what is sounds like). Indeed these sites are hypermediated(mixture of more than one media thing like computer graphics plus video plus photo etc), but they satisfy our desire for immediacy. That's the beauty of new media and not the remediation (using old ways like photography, incorporate them in new things like web pages, and there you go, online album). It's the speed of new media devices that encourages their consumption and that's why I love the internet. it's fast, it's there, it makes a lot of things be there. Besides, I am pretty proud that we are like in the top 5 countries as internet speed. Who would have guessed?
(I will check, but a teacher told us that)

Speaking of making things available:
http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/style/fashionweek/runway.html#fall_2010_chanel/11

=)) Why the hell (pardon the familiarity) do we shave our legs anymore if we are to wear some other creature's hair on them?
The idea belongs to Ms. CerealKiller, who graciously lets me post it.

Fuck woman's day

2010-03-08T19:07:00.005+02:00

Because it is useless. I can understand it's purpose for a kindergarten class to make the kids do pretty drawings of their moms or whatever, but why the hell do I need a day when women should get flowers and good treatment? What about the rest of the fucking year. I am FOR SURE not the first or the last to say this and it goes for Valentine's Day, Christmas etc etc etc Apart from the fact that it's just business I personally don't like the idea that I share "my" day with the rest of "my kind". What the hell is that? The only difference today between me and the nest girl is that maybe I get violets and she gets roses. NO NO. Not good enough. Yet another way in which mankind imposes mass-conformism. And if a poor man forgets he's basically crucified.

No, I am not alone and ugly, writing in my pajamas an eating ice-cream. I got flowers and kisses and hugs today and I am good-looking .
Yes, I am a bit annoyed about something personal, but that doesn't mean I am not right.

listen to your thoughts this time

At concert

2010-03-07T23:40:00.001+02:00

The Gaze

2010-03-07T01:23:00.014+02:00

Looking into my kitty's eyes and thinking she is a person. But it's very clear that she doesn't know concepts/words like "telepathy" or "non-verbal communication" or "meaning". Still that doesn't mean there isn't some kind of understanding between us. She can tell whether I am angry or not, or if I want her to come sit near me or to stop scratching the bloody bed. What I don't really understand about her is what the hell does she see and understand while looking out the window. She can just sit there quietly and sometimes she is angry at someone/something and she growls like there's a dog there. Looking in her eyes is sometimes like looking at some pretty grass marbles.
Of course it's not about her only. We all think that we have at least a couple of people we can "look in the eye" and know what they're thinking. I think that is totally false. The eyes have nothing to do with it. We read non-verbal signs, we judge on past behavior or actions, we maybe guess. It's funny because when I imagine this saying "I look him in the eye" I imagine the eyes becoming transparent and we see directly in someone's brain. Ah, but the brain is soo damn far. Everything we say is processed, even if just in the millionth of the second in which we choose the words from our "dictionary". I am feeling very apocalyptical in regards to communication. It's easier to make people buy, to make people kill, to make people sell or watch something, to make them do anything than make someone understand what you are really thinking. It's the individual that is harder to open up and understand than a mass of people, especially on random little things...but at the end those are the intimate things that represent the glue between two peers or , if not understood, they can be the crack that makes the dam fall and the valley flooded.
We are our greatest manipulator. We feed on these apparently simple things like If I look him /her in the eyes I'll know if he/she's telling the truth/ is angry or not/ loves me or not/ likes me or not etc
Ah, and the little idealist in my head pokes my brain and says : yes, but there is trust. Such a fantastic concept, trust. Apart from the fact that I consider all faith, including in God a kind of trust, it's unbelievable that we can choose to believe something that we have no evidence of, based on trust (words are methods for gaining trust, not evidence). It's easier to be loved than trusted....actually, anything is easier than that, both getting it and giving it.
I trust in a lot of things to be honest, but I base my feeling on...God knows what. Definitely not on a look.

I do love the song

for X